Pedophile Anonymous?

For every cause, there is an effect. Similarly, an action produces a reaction. Well, the tree doesn't sway if the wind doesn't blow. So, there should be an explanation for pedophilia, no matter how ugly the activity is and all we want to do is let them burn in hell. If we can be sympathetic of rapists and murderers, there must be people out there who are sympathetic of pedophiles. The world-is-such-a-beautiful-place me even went as far as thinking wouldn't it be great if organized support groups exist to "help" these societal rejects.

To my absolute disbelief, the Google search came up with nothing relevant. Either that or I wasn't looking hard enough. The closest that I could find were pedophile activist groups but that wasn't what I was looking for. I was looking for a support group that will "cure" pedophiles, as what Alcholics Anonymous do for alcoholics.

Surprisingly, most of the groups were associated to gays and lesbians. It seems that gay men constitute a high percentage of pedophiles (about 1 out of 36 men). Since we are discussing about child pornography, a picture of abuse and violence is conjured in my mind. Upon reading the so called pro-pedophilia acticles, I'm beginning to see a sliver of light. But of course some of their reasonings can be pretty absurd, if not weird.

Then in 1990, the Journal of Homosexuality produced a special double issue devoted to adult-child sex, which was entitled "Male Intergenerational Intimacy" (1). One article said many pedophiles believe they are "born that way and cannot change" (p. 133). Another writer said a man who counseled troubled teenage boys could achieve "miracles… not by preaching to them, but by sleeping with them." The loving pedophile can offer a "companionship, security and protection" which neither peers nor parents can provide (p. l62). Parents should look upon the pedophile who loves their son "not as a rival or competitor, not as a thief of their property, but as a partner in the boy's upbringing, someone to be welcomed into their home…" (p. 164).

Now I can see why pedophile activists are not making any progress. If you are a parent, would you accept reasonings the likes of this? Hell, no!

On the other hand, it is mentioned that not all pedophiliac activities involves non-consensual parties, and that it should only be abuse if the child feels bad about the relationship.

If psychology indeed recognizes consensual pedophilia as harmless, then civil law and social norms will be under pressure to follow the lead of social science…as indeed they did on the issue of homosexuality. When psychiatry declared homosexuality normal, our courts and theologians began to re-write both civil law and moral theology based on what psychiatry said it had discovered through the medium of empirical science.

In my opinion, pedophilia will continouously receive massive criticism not only from the conservative activists and groups but from the society in general. I do not have immense hatred for pedophiles, neither do I encourage them. But I do look down upon child abusers. Obviously this is too complex an issue to be able to draw a clear line between the two.


55 Responses to “Pedophile Anonymous?”

  1. fion Says:

    i am looking for a pedophile help group as well. if you find a good one let me know.

  2. kyle Says:

    I just wanted to say, how dare yu compare us to rapests and murarers. the first artictle only looks at the bad apples in the barrel. I am a firm beliver that child melestation is the most horible thing, next to any other child abuse. I am not tring to just single one out, the whole world associates pedophiles with child melestors. I also beleive that I may have been born this way. I sure didn’t chose it. we need to just have relationships with children without envolving sex of any kind. even not let them know we are what we are.

  3. justin Says:

    i think it’s unfair to say the majority of pedophiles are also homosexual. there’s no way to determine what the sexual preferrence of the pedophile is. or maybe that’s just it. it’s not male or female, it’s just children.

    also, i don’t believe i was born the way i am. i believe it is a psychological condition that was integrated at a young age when i myself was molested. the vicious cycle of abuse, they psychologists call it.

    i’m not going to tell you that what i feel toward young children is right, but is it right to label me a pervert or monster for having the feelings i do? i cant control them. i can control whether i act on them, but my feelings are always going to be there, no matter what i do.

  4. Fred Says:

    Thank you for bringing up the topic of recovery for the man or woman who takes a sexual liking to people who are very young.

    There is a huge difference between a person who has sexual thoughts or takes sexual actions with people who are very young with their consent, and anyone who abuses anyone of any age.

    Where the grey area lies is in that many people feel and rightly so, is that at a young age a girl or a boy doesn’t know the ramifications of what they’re choosing to agree to. I knew very well at say age 5 or 8 what I was doing or thinking. Strangely adults are so quick to forget at just what age they were thinking people clear of their actions.

    And of course there’s the religious right, who judge other’s actions when different then their own, as simply wrong.

    Personally, I’ve always liked looking at, and engaging with young people sexually. I liked it when I was young, and I like it now. I also don’t like that I like it. In fact it scares the hell out of me. Not that I would hurt someone, which I’ve never done, but that because society has such a loathing for people like me, if anyone knew about me, I would loose all my friends, and locked up.

    And you’re right. Rapists, murderers, crooks, these people are now realized as sick, and treatment is possible. But for people like me, well I’m just fucked.

    And one last note. I’ve thought a great deal about “why” I have this affection. At first I thought it was about control, in a life that has been to a large degree out of my control. But after much thought, I realized it was for primarily artistic and philosophical reasons. Young girls to me represent an age of such purity. Similar to a puppy. Everyone just wants to pet it cause it’s new to the world, and free of any scars that life gives us all over time.

    One thing that’s always baffled me is why a person who thinks like I do is so rare, and hated. I was never molested growing up, and maybe I think that’s where a great deal of the hatred for people who like young people comes from. It comes from people who have been hurt, and it doesn’t matter who the person is who likes young people sexually, it reminds them of the pain they endured and so anyone who thinks like that is hated as much as the perpetrator of their pain.

    I lost a good friend recently, who found out about my liking, and couldn’t bare to remain my friend. Not because he didn’t agree with me socially. He broke off the friendship because he was afraid for his own well being, in that if I got arrested, he being my friend could have been implemented as well.

    So how screwed up is society when any issue is that charged? Last time I can think of that would be Germany during WW2 and if you knew a Jew. And how do we regard that society from history now? Its not the same, but the level of hatred and judicial severity is just as bad.

    Alas, as your site says, there’s little hope for people like me who having such feelings, don’t want them so as to fit better within society.

    • Jonathan Says:

      I think recovery for juvenile attractions is extremely relevant today and especially overdue. I have been struggling with the traumas of molestation since I was five and realized a deeply repressed desire for preteen girls about ten years ago, which was around when I stopped having sex altogether. I had several female partners in a row that I suffered routine arousal failures with and started to become very depressed upon realizing a seemingly irrepressible desire for an 8yof in my neighborhood and couldn’t cope with being around her. Nowadays those feelings are routine and living in a community with a lot of families there are days I’m afraid to leave the house. In short, I think there should be a grass roots, holistic type of therapy or treatment for our dysfunction, or at least a place where such people can discuss their issues. Internet forums are great and all but I feel the benefit would be greatest in a setting of face to face group discussion therapy.

  5. Jon Doe Says:

    I’ve been looking for an anon group to talk to, I don’t WANT to be a pedo, but I find that I am tending towards it…

  6. Brooke Says:

    Yea, me too.. do post if anyone finds one.

  7. DC Says:

    I am 19, male, and still a virgin which I am not ashamed of. I do have friends and mates, so I am not a loner, but I also have a sexual attraction to kids, which, because I don’t have any sexual relationship with a kid, makes me feel somewhat lonely in that sense. But I know it’s better for me. Plus I don’t have a girlfriend. That makes it worse (in a way, because then I’d be putting the blame on not having a girlfriend for the reason why I do this now (but not the reason why I did it ages ago though)), because if I did have a girlfriend, I would DEFINITLY put up the biggest fight, to stop myself doing things in my private time, which make me feel good, while lusting after a kid. I DEFINITLY would fight against it, FULLY. That would be my highest priority at that time (and thereafter), and try so much to stop.

    Some persons who I can trust (who do not have a sexual attraction to kids) know that I have a sexual attraction to some kids. I also, as mentioned previously by others, don’t want to be a “pedophile”, but the definition of love, actually has more than one, philia/phillia (spelling), is friendship love, agape (spelling) unconditional love (no matter what someone does, you still love them), eros (spelling again) is sexual, marriage love. Like I said, I am a virgin, and I do love kids, so I guess technically I can be classed as a pedophile (because I love them), but not a pedo-eros (because I have not had sex with any) if that would make sense. Plus, I wish to wait for sex until I’m married, which, I honestly can not see me getting married, which makes me feel even worse. Then I’d have to tell her about my thing, and explain that I fight against it, and that (assuming by the time if I get a girlfriend/fiance (to make sure we can trust each other enough) she still wants to be with me), tell her I am clean at that time, and wish she actually DOES still want to be with me. But I know I have to get sorted out first, before I get even a girlfriend (if I ever will get one).

    Most of my sexual actions involving kids (oral sex, touching, and kissing), were all done before I was 16. All of my sexual actions involving kids were before I was 18. Only 1 of them was while I was 16. Sure, I did it then, so who’s to say, or what’s to happen to not stop me from doing it again? My choice. I will not do it again. (Of course, I cannot say what will happen in the future, but my actions lead to things, if I choose to do it again, or if I choose not to).

    I still have this attraction, and yes, I do want to have it, because it “feels good”. But normally and properly, genuinely (however contradictory that is or seams) I don’t want to have it. It kills me fighting against it. But I want to be clean, legit.

    This is definitly bad. Seeing some kid, and instantly having an attraction to them (Not every kid I see, by the way), but wanting to fight it, and succeeding, is an accomplishment. But either not winning the fight, or do winning the fight, but then a few minutes later, doing something while thinking about the kid, really ****** me off. And yes, I know, it’s my choice. But it’s so difficult. 😦

  8. DC Says:

    P.S., (I forgot to add): about the oral thing, it wasn’t to orgasm though.

  9. J.J Says:

    something is wrong with me what is it? I get turned on by images of young girls prefrence is 14-17yo i used to make the denial that there not that much younger than me. I’m 20 right now and only gonna get older I hope sometimes that this is some kind of messed up phase. the worst thing for me when looking at sexual photo’s lots of times you come across girls that are like 7-8years old! sometimes they are abused and look hurt when i see this i some how feel poisoned and wish I could do somthing to help but i know im just part of the problem. I still feel attracted to girls my age but there’s something about younger girls an uncontrollable lust, like a demon driving me to them. these are just fantasy’s young girls or my looking at illicit images. I would never allow myself to do any thing to some 15yo girl,
    like my cousin is 15 and she has her 15yo friends she has one real cute friend I was siting and talking with them, when i felt so guilty all of a sudden remembering things i have thought about doing to girls her age and i just feel sad wish i would die and that nothing like what ive thought would ever happen to her. i believe that nothing good will come of life life because of my sins and my soul is and will forever burn.

  10. english phil Says:

    i’ve been looking for a support group or at least some kind of chat gruop on this topic but there is sweet fucking nothing.
    there are plenty of pedos in yahoo chat but none seem to have enough brain to discuss.
    it seems to me there is a lot of interest in chatitng about this thing out there, so why don’t we guys start something ourselves?
    for the record, i am a pedophile in that girls under 16 and as young as 5 interest me sexually but..and i stress- i have neveer touched nor will i.
    i don’t however beat myself up about it, in fact i think it is a very natural way of being if a little sick–but then smoking, drinking, gayness, gambling are all sickensses to some degree.
    the fact is i like being a pedo..i love the sexyness (in my view) of children so i don’t wish to change, but i would like some literate rearding chat with likeminded guys just to keep me on the contued straight road ie not touching a child for real.

  11. Derek Says:

    I want to start an online pedophiles anonymose meeting. i am am member of alcohloics anonomouse and even though there are over 100 group that use the principles of aa for recovery, i was shocked to find there is no PA

  12. english phil Says:

    anybody who is interested in starting this thing i suggest we make contact in yahoo messenger or email. (preferably messenger – emails make me nervous). my id is ENGLISH_PHIL39b so leave me a message please. my email is ENGLISH_PHIL39b@YAHOO.COM. if we trust each other after a while maybe we could even send texts on mobile phone, sharing any horny or guilty thoughts we have each day like ”just seen a pretty 9yo girl who i want to ****’ or ‘fantasisiing about blow job off a 7yo girl’. i think t his wold eb really cool as it shows there is others out there like us. what do y’all think?

  13. Tony Says:

    I am a 30 year old married man, father of a 14 month old son. I am the victim of repeated sexual abuse as a child. My mother Would bring people to the house nearly every other day to have sex with my sisters and I. I am not sure if it was for money or for pleasure. I would like to think that is was for money because it is too hard to imagine putting your own childern through that. The abuse started when I was very young, probably before my 8th birthday. I have 2 sisters, one three years younger one four years older, we all have seperate fathers. At first it was scarry and painfull but as time went on I began to enjoy it and became very enthusiastic about it. Afterall what else did I know, I thought it was very normal and that this is what every family did. That time is not like it is today where childern are taught very young about sexual abuse and to tell someone. It was mostly oral sex but by the time i was ten there was lots of anal sex. I even recall several get togethers with other familys and childern where sometimes there would be 10-20 childern and many many adults. Most were men, however there were some women as well.

    Now that you have a little background let me tell you where I am today. I am an emoitional robot. It is very difficult to communicate with my wife. I struggled with drugs and alcohol in my late teens and early twenties. I became a sexual beast where the only thing that motivated me was sex. Sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime. Consiquintly I have struggled to maintain normal healthy relationships in my life. These are the dangers of having sex with childern. You ruin their lifes, perhaps not forever but you rob them of theyre childhood and their inisence.

    I am lucky enough to have found a woman who truly loves me for who I am. Not what happened to me, or the demons I still struggle with today, but with the man I am and man I am capable of becoming. My finall struggle is that of pedophilla. I have never been with a child since i was a child, nor is that something I fantasise about on a daily basis. My taste is girls from 12-15 and have veiwed, but never possesed, hardcore pornography. This is my last chance. My wife has recently found out about this porn, and is at her wits end. She has remained by my side but is fearfull of the implications of this behavior. I did not choose to be this way, and I wish to exercise this demon once and for all. I am seeking support groups, literature and any info that anyone could provide. Lets work together and end this terrible affliction.

  14. hello Says:

    Hello. I offer another anonymous website for pedophilia discussions called:

    there’s a blog and free chat.

    I am a pedophile.. and I challenge anyone’s fear, hatred, jealousy,or bias over my rationality and objectivity over the legitimacy of un-ageist romantic relationships.


  15. hello Says:

    You’re don’t have any demons friend. You have instincts and so does your wife.. Just be yourself until your wife comes around. If you want a mutual relationship you might want to skip marriage altogether as marriage is an arrangement invented by the pope and favors nothing more then women and their urge for a stable breadwinner husband enabling them to breed. A very prmal, selfish, one way relationship even though it’s widely accepted in america. I suggest you dump the breeder happy box unless she’s willing to evolve a little.


  16. Wanna little one Says:

    I too suffer from pedophilia and really have nowhere to turn to. I’ve never had sex with a child, but would love nothing more than to give a little girl some intense orgasms and have her make me cum hard as well. I think this mentality is damaging to myself and potentially damaging to my future. I’m not sure if I’ll actually seek out and have sex with a little girl, but I know I really want to. I foresee two possibilities… one, I find a nice young preteen girl who’s willing to have sex and then repeat and repeat and repeat, or two, I find a positive outlet to transfer these feelings to with the help of others who know my plight. It seems that there should be support groups out there for this and I’m sure there are, but how many of those members are in those groups because they got arrested? Also, would an anonymous group get “spied on” and be put under a microscope because their feelings don’t mesh well with the rest of society? I think that something needs to be done for everyone’s sake. For my sake because I want to keep myself out of prison, for the children’s sake because some are being heavily abused and it should stop, and for the parent’s sake because they need peace of mind.

  17. John D Says:

    I am looking for a support group as well and I do not want to ever be listen as a sex offender. I don’t want these feelings I have. I AM A MONSTER! I can not stand the fact that I am like this. I think about grabbing a cute young preteen and making passionate love to her. and that is sick even for me! I HATE MYSELF!!! But I know deep down inside I am not like that because I have dreams of making sweet passionate love to a woman my age, having a family and having sex with the same woman everyday and night for the rest of my life. But I can’t do that with a mind like mine. SOMEONE MAKE A WEBSITE FOR THIS KIND OF THING! PLEASE!!!!!!!!

  18. Stan Says:

    This is a new site that just opened. Everyone who feels they need it should join and comment and whatnot. We can grow it and really gain!

  19. christopheryonts Says:

    I am a 14 year old boy who was molested by his father. I am a firm believer that pedophiles are not disgusting creatures in fact, I am a firm believer in NAMBLA.

  20. Anonymous Says:

    I am so glad to hear that i am not the only one with this problem who does not want it. there is no reason why there should not be a support group for us, i to agree that i did not choose this problem and have tried many times to fight the urge, but it is excruciating difficult. I don’t think i was born with because i did not start till i was 12. i think its something psychologically wrong with me and personnaly i see it as a disease one I’d do just about anything to get rid of. If people really don’t want young boys and girls to be sexualy abused than a free counseling service of some kind absolutely needs to be created specifically for us. telling kids not to take rides from strangers is not nearly prevention enough. if we had a safe place to go and get help from experts on the subject there is no doubt in my mind that a huge decrease in children exposed to this will follow.

  21. Þorkell Arnar Egilsson Says:

    As a recovered pornography addict, especially of child porn, I found a change of conscience in S.L.A.A. And found many others with same problem, to share with me, and got rid there of my selfish motives in my search there for a recovery and a way out of my feelings and sick troubled obsession for them children.

  22. Sad Man Says:

    I’m also a pedophile. There seems to be a couple different kinds of pedophiles in this world. Those who like both adults and children, then the worst kind, those who are exclusively attracted to children. Unfortunately, I am an exclusive pedophile. I’m the worst kind of pedophile. One who likes very young boys (I’m a male). I am not attracted to adult males or any females.

    I hate myself. I hate who I am. I’ve tried to “cure” myself for the last 10 years, and I just can’t. I found this website by searching for “pedophiles anonymous” in the small hopes something exists for us. As expected, nothing does. I am alone.

    The strange thing is I don’t have any sexual thoughts during the day. I’m not attracted to anything or anyone during my daily life. An attractive young boy could be naked in front of me during the day and it wouldn’t turn me on at all. If anything, I might even be a bit disgusted.

    But late at night, I become a monster. I think of children in ways that the devil would blush at. It’s disgusting.

    I think I may suffer from some sort of multi-personality disorder. During the day, I’m an A-Sexual and am not a threat to anyone, but during the night I’m a perverted pedo. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me. I wish I could fix myself. I wish I could be fucking normal like everyone else.

    I am totally unable to have sex with woman. I’ve tried, and my body doesn’t react. It seems to react in reverse. I’m terrified of woman. And I am certainly not gay. I’m A-Sexual during the day, and a fucking disgusting pedophile at night. That’s it, that’s my life. I have no idea why I’m like this. I was never molested or abused in any way shape or form as a child.

    Because of this, I’ve turned into a loner. I have to hide and lie to friends and family about why I never seem to have sex with anyone or date anybody. I have to distance myself from everybody, especially woman. I’m totally and completely isolated. I’m an embarrassment. I must stay closeted. If I were to come forward with my problem, I’d be the most hated person. People would hate me more than murderers or Osama Bin Laden. Pedophiles are the scum of scum in our society. We are all violent assholes who deserve to die. We are untreatable. We need to be miserable and burn in hell.

    So, I continue to live my life as this miserable human being. my only hope is that the world really does end in 2012. A pedophile can dream, right?

    The worse feeling of all is knowing that there is no cure. I’ll likely be like this the rest of my life. Sure, I can control my urges. I’d never hurt anybody, especially a child. I fully understand the implications of child abuse and I’m not a danger to anybody. But I still have to live with this. I still have to live a life never knowing what sex with a woman is like. I’ll live my life never knowing what it’s like to love someone. I’ll live my life never knowing what it’s like to have a family. I’ll always be alone. I’ll always hate myself. I’ll always be closeted.

    So the next time you hear somebody say all pedophiles should die, remember that there are incredibly depressed people like me, in the shadows, controlling the urges, and wishing something, anything, could ease us from our closeted pain.

    I wish nothing more than to cure myself and live a normal life. As I end this post, I’m fighting the tears just thinking about who I am.

    Fuck my life.

  23. frenky Says:


  24. mgb Says:

    It should be obvious why there are no pedo-anonymous groups. Nobody would be safe there. If word got out to anyone that there was a group of pedophiles meeting in the hall or church basement down the road, that would be perfect opportunity for “vigilant people” to kill a whole bunch of pedos at once. They would do it thinking they are doing the world a favor even if they know that the pedos are trying to get help and become normal. In my opinion, the only “cure” for pedophilia is to surrender your life to Jesus Christ and let him change you from the inside out.

  25. Jiozea Says:

    Yes Jesus Christ and ayahuasca or iboga would work well…

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  29. max atwood Says:

    me to, i have pedophilia tendencies. i havent done any thing with a kid of course. i dont know if i would say im “strictly kids”. but what ever. it started when i was about 15. actually, i knew i liked small breasts even before i knew what porn was.that was like maybe 10 or 11. oh by the way i just made a site for pedophiles. the link is

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  33. troy Says:

    I to am loking for a support group for pedophilia I myself have never touched or molested a child but was convicted of possession of child pornography for pictures off the internet I in no way can or will try to justify that possesion. However I dont beleive I was “born” this way Studies show that many pedophiles were themselves sexualy abused as children theirselves, weather or not this is true I dont know but it is the case with me, I many days hate myself because of what I did and have even contimplated suicide to “excape” from my unwanted desires. I only thank the gods that I never actualy followed through on my fantisys other than to view pictures (which I may add is even to me an attrocity If anyone knows a way to get treatment because I do beleive Pedophilia to be caused by a phycological disorder many time braught on by being victomized oneself. however even if its a disease it cant be justified so please help

  34. chan87 Says:

    I dont know any support groups. I myself have been looking for one. If anybody with this “problem” would like to talk..just let me know and we could exchange emails..

  35. inner child Says:

    hi this is the first time ever writing any thing on the internet so beer with me please. i am 18 and a am a pedo sadley i have had sexural contact with a child before. i try so hard to resist my urges but somtimes they are just to strong. i am a senor in high school and ride the bus. there is a 8yo girl on there that always talkes to me and sits with me. its really hard to resist touching her but somehow i manage. i cant tell you how much it means to me to find others like me. i was never molested as a child. i think i am how i am couse a child to me is a symble of the best time of my life back when i never had to worry about anything that might not make sence to any one but thats all i can say. any way im planing on joining the merines in hope that that time away from children will help but i really worry about when and if i come back. for the worls sake i hope i dont

  36. kath power Says:

    Hello, am a psychologist and I think there are a number of ways of working with the issue of sexual attraction to children. If you want to change, look up the psychologists and sex therapists in your area. Most psychologist and therapists are open to a phone call to discuss how they can help a potential clients. This call is obviously confidential. Another thing you could try is hypnotherapy. This could help you find the origins of the issue. I do not believe people are born paedophiles. To me this is obviously learned behaviour. What is learned can be unlearned. You may not remember the dynamics of how it stared, but I believe you can find out.

    I think this is a very workable issue. One thing you know is the devastating effect of sexual abuse on children. I with a lot of people with this issue. In my opinion, sexual abuse of children can literally ruin there lives, leading to suicide, or such low self respect that that they self destruct, There is so much negative fall out for their families also. I urge you, please make the effort to change, If you don’t try, you.ll never know! Just because you haven’t changed till now, doesn’t mean you can’t.

    I admire anyone with the courage to change or to attempt to change. Good luck!

  37. BC Says:

    I’m a 12 year old girl, I’ve grown up in a world where everyone man that looks at you is a possible pedo and I don’t think they’re bad people. I get why others hate them, but they can’t help it. Gays and Lesbians can be accepted why can’t pedos? I understand that there’s a difference, but I know that people think that no child is consenting, this is untrue. I would be consenting, I know others who would consent, and quite frankly anyone who says we’re not old enough to make that choice is ageist. So fuck it pedos can be good people.

    • Need Help Says:

      I know it has been awhile since you wrote this but I hope you’ve made good choices and don’t regret anyone you may have been with, I thank you for your understanding and wish more people would think like you.

  38. BrotherhoodOfHumanity Says:

    I seem to be one of the few people in the U.S. who understands that pedophilia is NOT the same thing as child molestation, and that people need support without being demonized. I can not imagine what it must be like to live with this sort of thing every day. Just wanted to lend my support to those who are attracted to children, but who are doing everything in their power to make correct decisions.

  39. anonymous Says:

    man this is bullshit. there’s sex addicts anonymous, aa, na, gamblers anonymous, everyother frickin anonymous. I was touched by other teenagers and adults when I was under five. I fooled around with other kids at that age too. I don’t know much about pedophilia besides what I’ve read online. But you guys should get together in secret and find a way to support eachother in person. aa saved my life from heroin and my own perverse developing behaviors (I was lucky and able to change or regain control at least before becoming a full blown rapist) and I’m not gonna lie besides the craving of sex with young kids I had a lot of the same feelings of hopelessness and self hate and why am I so fucked up and different for a while. still do but I have help. and it’s bullshit that you guys don’t have help. hospitals or psychiatric wards may be a good place to start for if you guys want to meet in secret. I know in long beach the sex addicts anonymous directory is very hard to get a hold of and they keep it that way for good reason. I don’t mean to disrespect anyones struggle by comparing it to addiction and I don’t claim to have visited the same hell many of you have or are in maybe all I’ve said is irrelevant and I apologize for my inherit ignorance since I simply do not know I’ve never been in your shoes. regardless I wish you all the best.

  40. Need Help Says:

    I know this is late in coming since this article was started many years ago but has anyone found or started a group to help people with these urges!? I was introduced to sex at the age of 10 by a girl my age who’s dad was molesting all his daughters. I don’t know if this is what began my feelings or not, I was also molested by a neighbor, but the feelings are still there and I control them but could use a group to talk to.

    • Give Pie A Chance Says:

      I just found this place, hoping for the same thing. Seems like a bit of a wasteland for us to get help; pariah city, man. My depression was bad enough as it was before reaching the end of the comments, hah.

      Like others have mentioned though, any of us even thinking about getting together to try and help and support one another in keeping that chain on is fraught with peril. Sadly, the mere mention of the word ‘pedophile’ encourages others to try and remember where they keep the baseball bat. No doubt eyeballs are already turning this way with malice aforethought at the mere posting of the word.

      Thinking about it here and how much I want help for myself, I guess the only option available is to try and figure a way to do it, safely, and anonymously, or as close as it can be in this era.


      First thing; get yourself a VPN (Virtual Private Network.) I use, but I suggest you do your own research and get a good one. There are many with free trial periods if you don’t want to pay. Again: research it.

      Second: Get Tor. Yes, Tor. Your only destination on it that I am interested in is sigaint; a free and very anonymous darknet email service.

      Connect to your VPN, then connect to Tor, then using the Tor browser, make yourself an account at (completely free, no personal info or contact info required.) If you cannot figure out a VPN and Tor, I am sorry but I just can’t take a risk to contact you.

      1 – Protect yourself first: all communications should be done through duplex VPN and Tor barriers, on sigaint. Any messages from other sources should be deleted WITHOUT OPENING.
      2 – Trust no one, myself included, with any personal detail that could come back to you.
      3 – Text only; DELETE any file with any form of attachment WITHOUT OPENING.
      4 – Send no links, click no links, and always protect yourself first.
      5 – SEE #2

      Oh, and;
      6 – Ask before broaching discussion on what could be difficult topics. It is only polite.

      So, with that said, I suppose someone has to check the water for crocodiles. If you wish to contact me, as someone looking for another person to help and be helped keeping the chain on, follow the above guidance and rules and send an email to givepieachance@sigaintevyh2rzvw.onion Please don’t contact this address with anything but sigaint; it won’t do diddly to me because I will delete it right off, but it may come back to you. Just use sigaint.

      I will not share anyone’s email address with anyone else, but if several people contact me I might ask each individual if they would want to connect to the others. It is entirely your choice whether to agree or not. I will say again that it is the utmost importance to protect yourself first, so be mindful.

      Speaking personally, I would also appreciate a chance to speak to a psychologist or psychiatrist about this. If they have questions that they want genuine answers to, I’d probably be inclined, so long as you follow the above rules. Just identify yourself as such and we’ll see where the rabbit hole goes.

      And lastly… I know you are there, Angry One. I don’t want to make it legal, I don’t want to indulge myself, I don’t want to hurt kids. I want to keep myself to myself, and as a human being we need open social interaction to do that. Isolating humans drives them insane, which is where the damn child killers and rapists come from. Let me try to keep my own muzzle firmly attached and my actions in life benign rather than making the government pay for my (or yours if you are the violent sort,) incarceration for thought crime.

      Peace breeds peace, man.

      • Give Pie A Chance Says:

        Oh, also;
        I don’t check that box everyday, so if you do drop me a line, relax for a few days before starting to worry, alright?

  41. eddie Says:

    Hmm. I know a bit about real security, but I don’t practice very well. use tor a lot though. I am like you guys, and I’ve never hurt anyone by acting on my urges. I never will. I’ve been through several points of self hate in my life that sounded like some of the sadder posts. They made me want to cry. I have evolved as have gone on . I am now married with children. I have told no one a thing about this. They cant know. I simply have to much to lose at this point. My wife found a similar search to the one that lead me to this sight at one point. I barley made it through, but I’ve lied to myself and others all my life, so when I need to I can be convincing. I hate lying though. I hate that my wife doesn’t know… I use to be super depressed, but I have found a kind of balance in my life. we can learn to cope with these things. I know it seems impossible. I know suicidal thoughts abound, but when you really consider it you are ether to scared to, or find that you don’t really want to die. at least that was me. I don’t have much time to devote to my little “kind of secure” ventures, but when I get time, I’ll put on a proper deep web condom and try to make contact with you pie. I was never abused. have thoughts of young girls. its only recently that I read some things about how findings show that it could be about a thin lair in your brain that is usually thicker in normal people around the parts that deal with the drive to protect and nurture children, and sexual urges. don’t quote me, cant remember any details. anyway, we are who we are, and that cant be changed weather we want it or not. but we all have a choice. nothing will ever force us to act out our urges. once we cross that line we do irreparable damage to another human being. you can make all the half cocked shitty arguments you want. ya its only recently in history that its become so taboo, and certain forms use to be common practice in cultures, but that’s not the culture we live in, and it wont change. children are very very impressionable and vulnerable to anything that can be considered traumatizing. hell I remember an experiment from psychology where they were testing conditioned responses in newborns, and used a white mouse and a loud noise to startle the baby. an unintended side effect was that later in life the baby grew up terrified of the color white. so what if the child could be hypothetically in to it at the time. even disregarding the argument that children either can or cant legitimately consent to things, think of the response their family and friends would give them if they found out. think that wouldn’t be traumatizing? sorry for the rant. I know this is not an appropriate forum for that, but its the first time Ive said anything about this to anyone, and I’ve got so much to say. I know this post is already massive, but please hear out my final thought if you’ve read this far. there is a problem in society similar to the cavil rights, and later gay rights, and now still transgender, and other issues. one big difference though is that what we are attracted to can never be socially acceptable. but what can happen what must happen is a similar massive shift in public opinion. we need to create a situation for ourselves. our fate is in our hands. the world will not impassibly give us amnesty… it must be fought for and eared. the movement must be peaceful, and we must defiantly not include unrepentant offenders. we should seek acceptance for those who wish for therapy, support, and who are devoted to not ever hurting another human with their urges. for those of you who have never hurt someone else despite such strong urges to do so, I solute you. you ARE a good person, and do not deserve the burden that you bear. you need to be told that its OK. you can control it enough not to hurt someone. you are not evil, just unfortunate. and for those who have acted out your urges, but are repentant and truly wish to diligently abstain from any and all future occurrences. you can get better. there is no point of no return, its all in your head and your heart. get help. we all need to help each other. OK so what should we do? yes we all need to seek help. community support is good, but there needs to be more. we need to try to change the world for the better. the fact that we reach out for help should not make us targets. the social work and therapy systems need to change. this needs to be psychologically recognized, and treated just like any other mental illness without fear or prejudice. so how can we make that happen? I give one major proposal. it comes from the heart wrenching words I read on this page. you guys are poring your hearts out. anyone with a heart would be able to get through their socially endued gag reflex like and bigoted response to our plight after actually reading through a few of these threads. we have to make them see. we have to start a campaign. the unapologetic types have started a system to help fester the cancer in society. they call it tagging. its suppose to help them recognize each other, but has also become a bit of an add campaign for all the wrong things. ever heard of pedo bear. so we are going against them in the same theater that we have to present our campaign. then theirs the internet. its filled with more of that negative campaign. those who think the world may one day accept all of it. they are deluded…………. process 1: we use posts like this, and other materials that can be written. pour your hearts out, but don’t ever give any credence to anything but absolute abstinence. its ok if you’ve fucked up in the past, but you must never even want to talk about how it makes you feel good, or anything like that with anyone else. line in the sand hear. your future is pure abstinence, and you are seeking help. don’t allow any publications that don’t fit this description to go out. take these articals that are similar to the sadder threads hear, and print a bunch out, and leave them places. keep your anonymity, and be careful. try your best not to get caught. educate yourself on whats called opp security. get on the deep web, and use it to learn good practices. this shit can make it impossible for law enforcement to catch you. if done right, you can become a ghost. I don’t really practice it at all, but I’m about to start. second thing to do would be to spam similar articals on the internet. that can be done securely with a vpn and tor and such to. people already know about all the unrepentant s out there doing all kinds of crap off the deep web and building up the nerve to act out their impulses. people need to know about us. the ones who didn’t choose our sexual orientation, but want to fight it. its a positive add campaign, and it just might work. or maybe it’ll at least do a little good damage. I know its scary, and you might get busted, and go to jail, or beat up, or worse. but we have to fight. this kind of movement is overdue, and needs to be taken to the streets, and the computer screens. make them squirm, make them face that which makes them uncomfortable. change their view of us peacefully, and craftily. use your intelligence. take your time. pick your actions carefully. but don’t be to afraid to act. remember when it comes down to it, law enforcement is much more focused on catching people in the act of offending. human trafficking is a big hot topic item these days. and make no mistake. its a byproduct of the tremulous combination of our persecution, and our lack of means to get help. like they said in some earlier posts, it is probably those of us that cant get help, and feel corners, and go insane that actually are driven to act on our urges. the criminal underworld just happens to always be in the market to capitalize on such social weaknesses. help those who need help, and you will truly dampen the new world slave trade. so don’t be to afraid. we may be driving drunk, but someone drunker is driving ahead of us. the cops want to be the hero. they want to stop the abuse from happening. it is only a product of ignorance when someone who has harmed no one faces criminal charges. it may happen, but they do catch a lot of the bad ones to. that’s who they are really after. that’s why I don’t even put on good security. cause I know its only a small small chance that I in this see of shit will be noticed by one who would focus on me. I suspect our actual numbers are great. far greater than anyone would assume. I have noticed several hints in several people. but I always respected their privacy. know yourselves. learn to love yourselves, and love life. raise your heads up out of the depths of despair. you are human. you are good. if you be-leave in god then know that he loves you, and if you don’t, know that he would if he existed. find coping mechanisms. find balance. find peace. and I leave with a good quote.

    Churchill ,
    “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

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